My Song at the CrossRoads

My heart does bleed,
with a thousand words.
I only wish if you could,
hear all those.

I see your dreams,
with my open eyes.
souls we shared,
not just our lives.

My love for you,
I kept it so divine,
but with you walking away
i feel worser than swine.

I look at my life
turned so meaning less.
hard it seems now,
to clean up away this mess.

so, here i stand
at this cross road
setting sun,
and darkness around
my hope finds this song....
I sing it aloud... that,

"I'll find my place back in my life,
I'll find it once again...
I wish you would stand by my side..
when i find it once again

you walked away,
draining my happiness..
I called your name,
searched all places we met.. but found
guilt, anger, pain and hate.
mixed with my loneliness..

friends, foes no clarity,
I find now no difference.
the feeling of this life as charity
and let to live as penance.

I walk with these thoughts,
in my mind,
I stand at the cross road
where all that i find,
apart from deathly pain around..
is this song..
my song..
which I will sing as long as I can..

"I'll find my place back in my life,
I'll find it for me again.
I don't wanna be what the world wants me to be..."
here that's all I sing.


( But deep inside I know,
There is no place anyone can show,
where i feel safe, strong and warm
I wish I could be there, covered in your arm)


I'll find my place back in my life,,
Since I cant be there in your arms anymore.
I'll find it again..
for you my love.. for you.. for sure....

***********************************************************

Friendship

I Cant hear you
I cant hear you my friend,
Along the last rites of ritual
I stand with my head bend.

"may his soul rest in peace"
Says the Rev father,
your last cry for help,
did hear?? Hell, I dint bother.

Such a poor boy,indeed he was nice
say the people, dressed all black,
and their half wet eyes.

fu*k the emotions, I said to myself
after how you treated me,
just like an effinmate elf.

I do feel sad, I too feel the pain
of not being there,
to watch your blood drain.

I was with you,
trying to my best.
As i was plunging my knife,
right into your chest.

raped my emotions,
you tasted my soul
hands full covered by your warm blood,
but my mercy was cold.

your screams echo,
in my ears
the slangs you shouted,
Oh! I still hear :)

As you struggled in the pool of your own blood,
i kept pokin my knife,
complaining you are dead.


but,
how could you die so soon?
even after i explained you,
how our friendship was a boon.

I tried waking you up,
slit your fingers for pain
but,
you gave upon me,
my plans,
incomplete, but half in vain.

God,
i feel good.
liberated,
redeemed and
famished
when i see i helped you out,
just like how i had promised.

i moved my blade on your face
slowly,
but at a constant pace.
blood flowed out,
i counted 73,
my farewell gift to you,
who cheated me for free.

As you go deep, my smile takes a rise
your ungrateful acts,
finally made me wise.


I thanked myself,
for cleaning out a part
of my life's mess,
trust me my"Friend",
it feels great to make the world an ungrateful dog less...!!!!

Me X Physics = Fun

My mom's question had put me in a fix
they need a teacher,
can you teach Physics??


to start my carrier, as a teacher
made me feel like a mob,
I had my letter which had a
5 digit salary and a decent job


07.08.08, I was in school
late as usual,
first period in class,
I was trying to be a bit casual


They stared at me,
like I was outta of my god damn mind
like the one eyed king
popped his eyes open,
to see his country of blind


by Noon,
the air had spread,
I was the talk of the school
A few children peeped into my room glancing,
as if i was a dolphin in their swimming pool


Days went by,
along those sleepless nights,
made my white and Grey matter mix
and the children said..
"sir, not bad are those laws of Physics"


Months flew by,
without making my neck pain
and students new love for the subject
made me feel,
my efforts were not in vain


5 periods a day, 30 minutes of fun
those periods of substitution
and the stories of uncle bun..

All these made me forget
that am temporary,
and the arrival of the permanent teacher
made me feel sorry, very

I'll miss those morning wishes
all those doubts and smiling faces,
within my mind,
i look for rescue bases


but,
before I go a word of "thank you "
for everyone and not few..

thank you for all the fun we had,
I may be an awful teacher
but the time spent with Physics wasn't all that bad

Plea...

Night So dark,
stars smiling on
the long day of distress,
just finally gone

Heavens opened up,
asking "where had you been?"
I hear the angles searched me
but i was never seen


Pain of my heart
wiped away,
and the chalice of my sorrow
just took a sway.


The light of peace comforts me now
fruits coming out of the
plants i sow,
I finally reached, where i belong
reaching back my home,
even if it took me so long



the wine of my blood
i push it so far,
but deep inside in my soul
there remains its scar


I take the swords of my faults
and stab in so hard
to take the sweet pain of guilt
I had so longed


Life drips out,
from my eyes
stars start moving around,
just like fire flies


My dream of paradise,
of which the songs I sang,
has now been announced, that
its all forbidden


I am not the spirit,
the heavens were waiting waiting for,
they sing the hymn of rejection
just as an old folk lore.


My breath all stopped,
my heart struggling to beat
the chill of death,
wiping my body heat.


vultures of hell,
waiting to rip me off
like traders of a whore,
who just brought her for a loaf



I have been cursed,
for i have sinned
The revolt against my lord
has just been pinned.


Don't sharpen your weapons
oh! please... pull out your spears...
for i wanna go home
i don't like it here..

for I wanna go home,,
i don't like it here..

I just wanna go home....
i just don't like in here.............!!!!!!!!!!

with the wind... with love...

This song I wrote is small
but never to worry,
it'll never make your heart fall


The night was dark, twinkling star,
moon dull in clouds,
lost its glow
i sit by the window,
where the wind blows.. but slow


I gaze at the candle stand
with candle, small but spreading its light,
As it dances to the tune of the wind
as if the rhythm is just right


The woods are dark, lovely and deep,
says the poet frost
but am sure, the magic of this night
would have had him lost


the night splendid, mysterious in it
as the half moon liy sky watched,
the moon comin out,
perfect indeed


I look at the sky and close my eyes
as I can smell the scent of the rain wet soil,
she walks into my mind from those foggy dark skies
and as she nears, widens up my smile


the hyme of the wind
in my ear
i hear it loud and clear

so this song of mine, is for all those who are far yet near


As I sing with the wind,
with love, if she can hear

I will sing with the wind.........

with love.................

How it began...

There are so many things inside the basement...
they never clear...
they don't listen....
they don't hear....
they keep rattling inside..
so i write.. like i don't care...

even i do... i know the fact that,,
the things that matter are never there...

i live among people where all these i cant shout..
so here i am blogging... desperately to put them out..