S-M-S.... Save My Soul..!!!!

its been a long wait. almost a year. and still.. i wait...

somewhere i feel like Tom hanks of Cast Away.

lost on a lonely island and waiting everyday for help, while trying hopelessly to survive. The feeling arises from inside, the exact source though still unknown. there is a lotta noise inside..
I close my eyes trying to picturize myself in terms other than my human form and the only scene that comes up is of that of a bird caught in a cage. Everyday, every moment looking at the blue sky outside and hoping that the master someday will forget to latch the cage doors and i shall take off to scale the far and wide lengths of the eternally never ending sky. and that i shall prove it that the wide spread blue umbrella above is just small for my petite wings that still holds the will of conquering it. but even if someday i find that the doors is unlocked by mistake. I wont fly...!!!

Am no jonathan swift "seagull" wanting to master the art of flight. am just me, waiting for my turn to fly. waiting at my ending for that miracle to set me free. i agree that my hopes are getting decayed with the everyday slogged routine that most of us now term as life. but deep inside i still intend to challenge the boundaries and limitations that is set aside. i cant still accept the fact that my life will be governed by these set of rules. my attempts to escape is feable or near to none. somewhere i dont want my freedom, my life to be given as some charity. i want what is mine with all the respect that it deserves. and so i decided that i wont escape.but somewhere am scared that will it ever happen? am hopeless still beliving the fact that a miracle will rescue me or atleast show me that its always worth the wait.

its been a year now. and am still waiting... with my soul tarterd but.. waiting...!!!

lets Blame it all

well... i am certainly not good at this. For the matter of fact that I know it myself, i dont care what the other person thinks about this. for am not forcing anyone to read it nor follow or agree to it. but I do write this to put across what is there in my mind for its my right to express what i feel is right to the best of my knowledge, correct it if am wrong but never stop myself from expressing myself for the very aspect of my existence is determined by my expression.

I finally realized one thing in life. Its easier correction a lot more easier to sit at the other end and just talk about the infinite possibilities that could have worked out in every aspect of life what we witness everyday, but when it comes to putting the words into action, somehow things are not exactly the way we expected them to be. But hey, we dont give up that easy do we ? when do our people around us come handy ? what are they for ? blame it on them. either their ignorance or laziness that drove your entire work to drain and only if you had the right set of people around, you could be the man of your words. LOL..

sometimes its hard to belive that we still in a world so cynical, never reay to learn. but less do we realise that the world looks how we look at it. Am no different. Am a Hypocrite just like each one of you reading this. But atleast I agree to it. Not that am proud of it. Ashamed. to the core.

But somewhere i do wanna ask myself. will i ever learn ? if yes then WHEN ???? is there more that i need to see or experience before i finally accept it all ? i do. deep inside wanna change. learn. accept my faults and correct them. in short change. After all the change begins with one. the change does begin with me.

but there underlying question still lies.... Do I really want to ? ;)